Martine St-Victor: Rethinking the methods we are saying ‘I like you’


On this age of quick and abbreviated communication, there may be a lot to be mentioned for sending romantic letters by put up.

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Even previous to the COVID-19 outbreak at its Mississauga website three weeks in the past, Canada Submit had been experiencing supply delays for a while. On any given day on Twitter, for instance, you’ll discover oodles of complaints about this 150-plus year-old establishment we nonetheless can’t reside with out, regardless of the appearance of things like on-line billing and direct deposit.

Many issues may need modified within the final yr, however Feb. 14 is quick approaching, and except I’ve missed the memo, that’s nonetheless Valentine’s Day. I bear in mind in elementary college, each pupil would get Valentine’s Day playing cards from all of their classmates. It was half task and half pressured benevolence, however nobody left college empty-handed, and that was good. For many of us, that train was an introduction to epistolary exchanges, a mode I’m very keen on and admire much more on this age of quick and abbreviated communication.

I’m sufficiently self-aware of my limitations to know to not give out relationship recommendation, however on the very least, I’m sure that Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be the one time of the yr you present appreciation to the one that you love. To explain a passionate love affair, Sade swooned in her 1985 traditional hit The Sweetest Taboo, that each day was Christmas and each evening was New 12 months’s Eve. I ponder if that relationship lasted. Each day like Christmas? Each evening like New 12 months’s Eve? That sounds exhausting. However there  exists — I believe — a relationship middle-ground between what looks like day-in and day-out festivities and the acquisition of a heart-shaped chocolate field purchased on the fuel station, in your approach house on the 14th day of February.

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If it’s true there’s been a change in what we get from Canada Submit — as soon as the premier vector of communication — there has additionally been a change in how we talk affection, that the majority valuable of parcels.

After the everybody-gets-a-Valentine’s-Day-card notice got here the sophomore transfer to the personalised missive for that one classmate we appreciated greater than the others. Following that grand gesture got here the combination tape of favorite songs, given to the item of our affection. Years and extra refined know-how later, the combination tape turned the mix-CD. Right this moment, you’ll be able to reward a tune on iTunes and ship it by electronic mail. It’s maybe the identical sentiment, however with a 10th of the trouble. Evolution that’s not essentially progress.

For the reason that starting of the pandemic and due to the restrictions that got here with it, many people have re-examined how we do sure issues. Consequently, we’ve slowed down and have adopted new habits: longer walks, extra home-cooked meals, listening to albums from their first observe to their final, with out interruption. However do the methods we are saying “I like you” additionally want rethinking? Research after research lists lack of communication as one of many prime causes relationships fail.

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A type of research put it in numbers, stating that 67.5 per cent of marriages that resulted in divorce did so, at first, due to communication points.

Will sitting down to write down love letters dramatically lower breakups? It’s uncertain. However slowing down lengthy sufficient to specific affection in a way that features a topic, a predicate and a full thought could go an extended approach than emojis or what appeared like the proper reward purchased on Amazon and delivered in a single day.

What could really feel like an anachronism won’t utterly clear up the collapse of romantic bliss, however it may be a part of the treatment. Think about receiving a love letter by snail mail, in 2021. It simply is likely to be as pleasant as consuming that bread we’ve discovered to make throughout confinement, as a substitute of the rapidly grabbed sliced model from the shop.

And by no means thoughts Canada Submit’s occasional tardiness. Feb. 14 just isn’t a deadline.

Martine St-Victor is a communications strategist and media commentator primarily based in Montreal. Instagram and Twitter: martinemontreal

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